I don’t know, really. I am almost, as in ALMOST, done with school and I do not know whether I should start job hunting or just literally do nothing but breathe.
I now have acquired a degree in the media industry, a degree that is cool but pressuring, in my opinion. There have been times that I have been down because I kind of wanted to change my degree into something else, like, I don’t know, just something different and way more exciting. There have been times that I am very proud of what I’ve been doing ( my degree, studying, etc. ) but when stress and pressure collide, I become temporarily depressed and just stop. Literally. I just stop. Or maybe in my head I wanted to stop. I never stopped doing anything though which now I realize and quite proud of. I guess.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m starting to feel a bit down again for some reason. Maybe it’s because I had to do so much to finish everything. I had to do some unrelated-school activities too such as work, something I am not really interested in doing. It’s not that I do not like earning a living, I just do not like my current “job.” It’s boring. Office work is boring. I feel like my dreams are dead whenever I spend hours doing something I never really thought of doing. I am never the type who just wants to stay inside four dull walls with a dull looking ceiling above her head. I’m the type who would prefer working in a place/room where I can glance at the busy streets, or maybe have a view of nature such as the green green grass, the blue blue sky, the trees, leaves, flowers, etc. I like working in a crowd while remaining quite.
But nowadays I know you’ve got to work hard for that kind of work environment. Nothing is free.
And now that I am almost done with school, I guess I should find a job. A tedious job like the rest of the society. Tch.
No. I won’t. I’ll think of a way to live my life to the fullest and not live a boring life. I won’t waste my existence and what life has to offer, that I know. I just need to get out of this pit of existential crisis again, which is not bad because I get to reflect on myself and think about life, its meaning, and blah blah blah, all those philosophical stuff.
But life ain’t that bad. It’s still great for me. I have good days most of the time. And I have a few good people in my life to keep me going and find the answer/s for this existential crisis. :)
Well, good night again, world. Tomorrow is another day for me and for the rest of us.